Tuesday, November 30, 2010

No title

Moving Foward, Not looking backward.

Him and her

Crying crying crying
Him & her
Finally, he got his new life.

Monday, November 29, 2010


Fuck all of you. ALL OF YOU.
im just fucked up with myself.
please, Go away.

Sunday, November 28, 2010

letter for You, Boyfriend

Dear Bee,

I want you to know that since the day we met I've fallen deeply in love with you. There are no words to express the gratitude I feel in my heart that you came into my life, and how you make every day so special. You are my life, my heart, my soul.

You are my best friend, my one true love, my one and only. I love you more today than I did yesterday, and I'll love you more tomorrow than I do today.

Loving you is the only thing that makes life worth living. Day by day, my love for you becomes overwhelming, and I can't handle it when I don't see or even talk to you every day.

A day without you in my life is like a day without sunshine, a day without food, or a day without air. I need you when I’m cold to keep me warm; I need you in the rain to keep me dry; I need you in my life to keep me happy. You make me feel wonderful. You give me strength when I just can't carry on and I truly treasure that. Every moment spent together is another one of my dreams coming true.

I apologize straight from the heart for ignoring you whenever you make an attempt to make me feel better after our pointless arguments. I know I overreact a lot, and I'm sorry. I‘m ashamed of how I treat you and I'm sorry I've been so moody lately.

I'm afraid I'll say something to make you forget the feelings you have for me when I mention your past too much and bring up stupid things. I'm worried you won‘t want me anymore. I know I can make you mad, but I promise you that this is all going to change because I love you with everything I have.

I was scared to love you at first, out of fear that you would hurt me, but I did and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done. Now, the only fear I have is waking up and realizing it’s all a dream.

You are the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. Each moment that you and I spend together is so magical that I catch myself smiling for no reason at all.

I thought that I would never find a love that is as strong as ours, but now that we've found each other I know that you are the person I want to spend the rest of my life with, the person I want to marry, the person I want to have babies with, and the person I want to grow old with.

Bee, you complete me. You make my life so amazing and I don't know how else to repay you but to love you just as much as you love me. The world is a better place to be because of you.

You make me feel beautiful. Thank you for giving me so much more than I ever could have wanted. I am so thankful for what we have, and for everything we will have. You are the only man I ever want to share my life with. I could never imagine what it would be like if we were to lose each other. I don't even want to think about it. All I want to think of is you.

You are the love of my life. I love you, and I always will until the day I die. Hopefully, when that day comes, I will still have you by my side and yours will be the last face that I see.

When we’re older with a family and home of our own, we’ll look back at the ways we argued about things that were so insignificant and we’ll laugh and know that our love was strong enough to overcome every argument. I just want you to know that I'm thankful that you came into my life and I will love you till the end of my days. My love for you will never fade, I’m still crazy about you, bee.

xx, fiqa.

Good, hard and bad times!

I have to say that nowadays, me and my boyfriend have a lot of things need to settle. bad good hard smooth, and everything, especially my boyfriend. so much things he been through with his works, with his problem with this and that. yang paling marahnya, dia ni tak suka share problem even his boss said so. but eventho he got his own problem he trying to make others feel happy. Yesterday we went to pavi with loved ones. i saw his face. muram, banyak kerut kat dahi, termenung. Only God knows how does he feel now. lotsa problems. suddenly;

Me: Bee, sini kejap nak cakap skit.
Bee: Ape dia
Me: *whisper* I love you b. buang sikit kerut kat dahi tu. nampak buruk.
Bee: b okay la.
Me: No you're not. bby nampak b pikir masalah. jgn pikir sangat
Bee: *hold my hand*
Me: im here for you syg, anytime, every single time.
Bee: nasib baik jumpa bby. atleast tade la sedih sangat.

God knows how much i love him.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Interesting Hair cut

another artist is going to rock my ass off. fucking cool her hair. you go cassie. too bad my hair is short now. but i do love your hair because you seems like going to rock this world with this hair. hahaha. salutee!


harini macam tak pecaya je. me, rossa and att plan nak klua bersama. they're my schoolmate when i was at school. plan kami memang best, plan awal2 memang takkan menjadi. ini pun last minute punya plan. Dengan demam makin teruk semua, kawan sekolah punya pasal, memang kena pegi la. sakit ke ape ke memang dah lama tak jumpa dorang sume. i miss my schoolmates, for real. so 1.30 i siap. suddenly, dalam otak i, terlintas plak;

Semoga ____ dan_____ berkekalan,

Pastu memang tak sentap la en. *crying*

his message

in his car
we have a conversation. suddenly he said
bee: mengelabah siot pompuan ni. nak kena pijak?
Me: dari semalam cakap nak pijak aku, tak pijak2
Bee: ingat aku sampai hati ke nak pijak kau. agak2 la akak. malas la nak kawan.
Me: oh, i love you too sayang, dont worry.
Bee: =]

forever hugs. the way he whisper. the way he talk. the way he treat me. haha i remember this when he met me yesterday. i told him that he doesnt care about my fever but haha i kena marah balik. when he said, " oh aku tukar plan aku sebab aku dengar kau sakit. sbb tu aku culik kau. jgn nak macam2." HAHAHA. and and this.


bee: Baby, okay? dada sakit?
Me: sikit. nafas sangkut.
bee: dah makan ubat kan, try to sleep k?
Me: dah. alright.
Bee: Goodnight baby.
Me: Goodnight b
Bee: Love you.
Me: Love you too
Bee: *Kiss forehead.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

another conversation

heyya peeps. another post comes. oh anyways i demam sangat la teruk. so, for this demam i dont have any medicine because im outta cash, plus im in my rent house. my breath like super duper unstable, my cough pretty bad and my flu is bad as well. MTHFCKR. suddenly..

*phone rang, Its baby bee*

Bee: Sayang,
Me: yes.
Bee: kenapa cam penat ni?
Me: baby demam. breathing ni cam pendek.
Bee: abis tu dah pegi clinic?
Me: no. ala, tayah. today maybe balik kl. mama amek
Bee: ish sayang teruk dah ni. jom la pegi clinic. b dtg skang.
Me: tayah la b. b kerja kan. settle down dulu ur works.
Bee: make sure pegi clinic please. teruk sangat.
Me: ye baik laaa *cough*
Bee: eh kau ni nak mampos dah ke?
Me: Kimakkkkkkkkkk!
Bee: tuuuuuuuuut. tuuuuuuut. talian putus. baby letak laa.
Me: babi kau cari pasal. b, baby nak cakap skit.
Bee: ape dia ckp la.
Me: few days back, baby cam tak pecaya kat b sangat tau. not even get ur text ur calls, tup tup dah sampai rumah, tup tup dah kat kedai makan, tup tup b accident after u sent me to shah alam. b tak bitau baby ape jadi kat b smp baby naik risau dengan b sampai pikir lain sume.
Bee: hekhekhek. baby risau eh?
Me: you tell me which gf doesnt care of her boyfriend.
Bee: okay first thing b nak cakap b nak stop jap enjoy. you know the club things, b nak stop jap. tak kira la apepun b nak hold off dulu because things messed up after the accident. im sorry because of that, tapi b serabut sayang. b nak cocentrate on works. nak kasi stable balik
Me: yeah, i feel the same thing. after kenal suma baby tgk b cam dah tak stable sume. baby risau je. tapi japgi after letak call ni kau hilang la balik. kau tau kau cam biskut. hahaha
Bee: HAHA. mesti la hilang. b balik umah tido terus. esok kerja kan syg. u can go to the club as long as jgn menggatal dah la. jangan dance dengan laki lain. kau tu pantang orang ajak dance.
Me: kepala otak kau! aku dah ada kau la setan. if that case, im not going either. okay?
Bee: u can go sayang. but promise me u can take care of yourself. b pecaya baby. okay?
Me: hm. tak best la sayang. tgk la cmne k? tak selamat la b tade
Bee: im not that type of guy yang nak tahan gf b pegi mana2. ask eka, elfy suma. but for now, b mmg taleh pegi club okay. if u nak pegi club, pls do tell me. and start from now, u can call me after office hour
Me: i dont even know what time your office hour is over.
Bee: pukul 6 dah abis dah, after that u can call me.
Me: okay. b please dont do this again. im so worried about you. please. sorry sebab tak pecaya kat b
Bee: hehehehe, takut la tu aku buat benda lain
Me: babi la kau
Bee: dah la baby. b nak sambung buat kerja ni. after kerja ni, b text baby okay.
Me: yela. baik. sayang jangan buat perangai
Bee: i wont. dah jgn lupa makan ubat nnt k. takecare baby, love you =]

that's why i love him so much. he never give up eventho kena tengking ke apa. dia boleh lagi gelak and whatsoever. seriously he turn me off kot. it just like, sometimes marah jugak dekat dia. but dia punya sorry still bole pakai and he admit his mistakes. oh, i dont care what people gonna say about me. im just happy and if tak suka, blaaahh!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

another new punk cut

hello guys. it's me again! haha. anyways today im gonna talk about my new new new punk hair cut. i did cut yesterday. but baru upload today. so sorry! this is my new hair cut. selup lagi pendek. hehe, enjoy =]

okay hodoh time ni. after jogging

see see

back to front

side to side. hahaha. this is my new hair :)


Cakap tanak amik tau pasal life aku. kata nak benci aku. kata nak ludah bila jumpa aku. kata aku ni perempuan murah. kata aku ni sial. kata lagi macam2. tapi kenapa eh aku nampak kau add orang boyfriend aku? kenapa eh nak kena add? kenal ke kau dengan dia? suka ke kau dengan dia? gay ke kau? aku tak mintak pun dia delete kau. tidak sama skali. guna la account sesapa pun kau nak add. he will say;

"baby biarkan dia add or cari b, because once he found me, i will teach him how to treat nicely to the the person i love. he been stalking us, doesnt he? let it be. Yes im a sweet talker, but im being sweet for you, not for others. *sep sep*"

So my decision is, biarkan jela. no matter what happens, its fate. im just not revenge. that's all.


piece of heart saying

I talk to other guys but i don't talk to them like the way i talk to you. Sure, those guys can make me smile, but not make me smile like the way you do. Sure, they can make me laugh but not make me laugh the way you do. Yeah, there's a lot of guys out there, but listen, none of them can compare to you. My eyes and heart are set you and only you. Thank you for your trust towards me. thank you for understand me the way i am, me love you so much.

xx, fiqa

Thursday, November 18, 2010

second heartbeat

This is why im still standing right here right now. i owned him. im happy and have a great time with this particular person. thanks for makes me happy again after all my past kills me. here im back with your strength.

Oh boyfriend

actually plan untuk raya haji ni ingatkan nak spend time half day untuk family and half day untuk sayang, but he breaks his promise! *fuck you sayang* HAHA. bayangkan eh people im waiting for his calls and messages from 3pm till 1am!! then, on my way to Jalan Alor with kakak and kamal my phone rang.

Boyfriend: Hello baby, where are you?
Me: on my way to jalan alor.
Boyfriend: with who? kakak and kamal?
Me: yes.
Boyfriend: tak inform pun kenapa?
Me: i thought you been busy with your raya. lagipun baru klua je ni
Boyfriend: Sorry eh b baru sampai ni. and sorry for tak jumpa baby arini. too busy laa. mak tanak balik tadi.
Me: its okay. i told you, dont rush things. lain kali kan ada?
Boyfriend: tape, sayang pegi makan dulu. after makan you call me. b tunggu ni.
Me: kalau tak angkat?
Boyfriend: kalau tak angkat means b tido. but makesure ade misscalls. get it?
Me: okay i call u later.
Boyfriend: baby....
Me: yes
Boyfriend: I love you, remember that.
Me: i love you too b. :')


Me: b! tido ke?
Boyfriend: huh!?.. a'ah.
Me: padan muka kau nak aku call sangat en? hahaha
Boyfriend: Haha. tetiba dah segar. Baby..B nak Baby..
Me: mengigau ke sayang? haha. btw lupa nak cakap dengan b, esok pagi baby pegi dentist okay xtray my teeth.
Boyfriend: haaaa? pakai braces?
Me: yupp! b jugak yang suruh en!?
Boyfriend: yeayy!
Me: so i call you tomorrow morning okay sayang. pegi tido la esok nak bangun pagi.
Boyfriend: okay. baby takecare yeah. be safe, I love you.
Me: love you too.

actually masa ni memang tengah marah dengan dia sangat-sangat. but dia sebenarnya sangat menjaga hati i. its like he wanted me to be safe always. oh oh oh, anyways people, he's the person that im looking for. i remember what he told me before. " terus terang eh, b tak suka perempuan pakai heels, b tak suka pompuan rambut panjang, b tak suka nak hypocrite but the most important is, b memang suka perempuan kulit gelap. that's what im looking for and finally i found you". HAHA. he doesnt even care about how bad im look like, but still, he makes me happy all the way. and people! lupa plak, im gonna have a brace face very sooooooooooon. im goona brace my teeth this december, insyallah. itu pun mamat ni yang suruh! Haha. he's my inspiration for this kot padahal aku la paling takut nak cabut gigi. i miss him so much and i miss the way he talked so active, party together, dance together, his hugs and everything. all about him, i miss. i love you b, hope you notice that every single day. *hugs.

Monday, November 15, 2010

he rock my world

Someone has stole my heart. he actually make me smile all this while.

We dance together, he teach me how to dance, he's my inspiration.

He put myself first on his side. he treat me well like i am his princess, he give me confident, his funny random noises he make, he's totally rock my world.


So there's is the boy. and i gotta admit he's got my attention.
The bottom line is, im all his, and he's mine.

xx, fiqa

Friday, November 12, 2010

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Hehehe, New life comes. hehehehehe. smile alottt. i found my happiness, i found what i deserves all this while, i found the light, Here comes, im really in good condition and im happy now. i really build my strength back and thanks alot for make me smile. tehee. im not gonna tell detail people, but soooooooooon, i will tell. HEHE. *hugs

H**** *****I

Seorang perempuan yang desperado and Bajet kau nak bergaduh, Takat message, alahai buang masa. meh sini jumpa aku. aku ada kat sekitar desa pandan or Shah alam, seksyen 7. meh cari aku and kau nak tau who really am i. i'll show you.


Aww, I got My Superman

xx, fiqa

Monday, November 8, 2010


It hurts to say goodbye to the person you almost gave your life. Knowing that life wont be the same. But its better to give up the feeling rather than to know your the only one fighting.
Nothing hurts more than realizing he meant everything to you, and you meant nothing to him. You hurt me more than i deserves, how can you be so cruel, I love you more than you deserve, why am i such a fool.

xx, fiqa.

Saturday, November 6, 2010


He left me now.
Happy, Fiqa?

letting go

How do you walk away from someone you love
And take the road of friend;
Can you reroute the course you have taken
And start over once again?

I don't really want to let you go
But inside me I know I must;
The times we've loved . . . the times you've left
My heart says stay . . . but it's my mind I must trust.

We have shared so much together
Laughter . . . fun times . . . tears;
Yet sometimes we can't turn back time
We must walk away, and allow ourselves to heal.

I know one day you will be happy
And your soulmate you will find;
I know we each have one out there
Even if for now . . . only in our minds.

May life be gentle with you
May God's best come your way;
And on some quiet tomorrow
You will realize things were better this way.



Friday, November 5, 2010

Good condition

we looking good arent we? hahaha of course we are babes! we are good, we still friends, we still hangover, we still HA HA like shits, we still like before, we still apa2 jela. We are good la senang cerita. haha, i miss this, but we go with the flow. WE STILL FRIENDS. i am good person kan? haha. Enjoy =]
I love my hair, alahai.

Kawan katanyaaa. hahaha

His belonging. OBEY

This is why im start to call him, OBEY.

tgk tu tgk tu.

xx, Fiqa


I know you will read my blog and keep stalking my blog, i know who you really are. now let me tell u what im gonna say about us, sorry i cant be able talk through the handphone because i know, things will be mess. so read carefully and understand the messages.

after things are happened like so fucked up, this is the main point why we are not meant to be together. after 10 months we have been through, i think we need seperate for our own good. i just need space for myself. and i think i wanna give you space as well. bukan salah kau je aku nak kaitkan, aku pikir kesalahan aku jugak. tapi aku rasa banyak sangat kau dah buat kat aku sampai aku dah tabole tahan dengan ape yang kau bagi kat aku. kau anggap bagi harapan dekat pompuan lain tu satu gurauan, aku tabole terima. kau maki aku, kau hina aku, aku tabole terima. kau kata aku tak bole banggakan, ex kau yang lain kau memang bangga, aku memang tabole terima, kau sering puji gf kawan-kawan kau, sedangkan kau tau orang yang hidup dengan kau sekarang ni tak seberapa, sekurang-kurangnya jangan membanggaka gf orang lain, sebab ketara sangat taste kau camne sebenarnya. berapa kali kau flirt dengan pompuan lain, tapi nape aku bole terima kau balik? kenapa aku jugak yang kau cari? itu yang buat aku tak faham dengan perangai kau. ape kata kau cari pompuan yang bole buat kawan2 kau bangga dengan ape yang kau ada. kau jugak dapat market tinggi nanti.

Aku nak space dalam life aku bukan sebab aku teringin nak cuba lelaki lain. ini apa yang aku rasa, so terpulang pada kau untuk terima or tidak. nak terima, bukak la hati kau, tanak terima, kau ignore je. lebih 2 minggu aku break dengan kau, aku rasa nak mencuba laki lain tu memang satu benda paling fobia untuk aku. aku ingat pesan kau selalu, jangan mudah percaya pada lelaki yang nak dekat aku, mungkin dorang ade niat buruk. aku tau suma tu, aku bole nampak lelaki zaman sekarang ape yang dorang nak. aku sendiri nak move on pun aku takut, sebab aku rasa belum sampai masa orang bole gantikan tempat kau, jaga aku, tolong aku, hidup aku sekarang aku nak cari angin baru. bukan menggantikan tempat kau, aku pun penah cakap dengan kau nak kenal orang baru memang menyusahkan. nak exchange number hp, nak kenal hati dia lagi, nak percaya dekat dia you know all the bullshits, aku malas gila. hidup aku sekarang, aku nak betulkan balik apa yang dah jatuh, aku nak bangun balik, aku nak hidup sorang, aku nak buat keputusan untuk diri sendiri tanpa pikir orang lain, untuk menjaga hati orang lain, tu suma aku tanak. sebab pengorbanan aku yang tak seberapa selama ni dah aku tunjukkan, tapi kenapa ada lagi kecurangan. tak guna kalau sorang je setia en, kalau setia pun teman main kayu tiga, baik kita pun curang jugak

Curang la yang buat aku gerun nak buat masa aku couple dengan someone yang aku serious. aku nak buat pun, aku tak sampai hati, sebab aku tak dapat bayangkan apa yang teman aku sendiri rasa bila dapat tau aku curang dengan orang lain. tapi kalau kau dah sebati dengan perangai kau camtuh, kite memang tak sekapal la. kau campak la mana2 pompuan yang bole terima kau curang dengan orang lain or senang cita kecurangan kau tu bukan satu hal dalam relationship kau. bak datang aku nak tgk sapa pompuan tu. melainkan kalau dia bole terima, means dia buat benda yang sama ape yang kau buat. kalau camtu baik tayah bercinta kan. aku lagi respect orang yang tak beercinta tapi dia flirt, dorang tu bole dikatakan tak sampai hati lagi la nak mainkan perasaan orang. kalau kau ada sifat kasanova kau, baik kau tayah bercinta kan. simple as that.

aku bukan nak mengajar kau cara nak bercinta, tapi kau dah besar, dah bole pikir, dah masuk alam twenties kot. ada lagi ke zaman2 flirt time umur cam kau? kau bukan lagi kat zaman teens. kalau ye pun tabole lari dari hidup kasanova, kau bole flirt, tapi jangan bercinta. aku lama dengan kau sebab aku pikir kau dah tinggalkan dunia kau semua tu, kau dah bersedia nak buat teman kau happy, tapi aku silap. aku tabole pegi dengan lifetime kau sekarang, even sakit hati aku sebab aku percaya kau, aku sayang kau tapi cukup la kau mengajar aku jadi orang yang tabah. aku mungkin ego macam yang kau cakap, tapi aku ego bertempat, aku memang keras kepala sebab aku dah tak larat nak tengok lelaki pijak kepala aku, pijak kepala pompuan2 lain yang korang anggap lemah. semua manusia ada maruah. seego-ego aku pun, aku pikir cara nak menghargai orang, pikir hati orang, kalau aku cakap benci, aku sayang sebenarnya. aku berlagak tabah bila kena maki dengan kau, tapi dalam hati aku sorang je yang tau. pompuan lain kau bole nak buat nanges, tapi bukan aku, enough with all this bullshits. and last message, jangan ingat kau sorang je yang betul dalam ape pun keadaan. kau human being cam aku, kau sendiri penah buat silap.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Byebye long hair

salam satu Malaysia. HAHAHA wtf! anyways, sorry youguys for not updating my blog. i've been busy with my finals, sorry. anyways, let me share with youguys about myself. haha, some of the might notice i've been cut my hair, short. REALLY SHORT OKAY PEOPLE. i have no idea why i cut my hair, but i think im cool with it. hehe and i really love my hair, u can see my photo's down here. but you olzz, i miss my long hair, my curly hair, straight hair, color hair, everything about my hair. so my hair is no longer long anymore. hahaha.

motherfuckers! this is me.

selup babe selup!

ni paling jelas.

oh, with my loved ones!

xx ,fiqa.