:(

friend cant be lover

i think this is true.

away~

masin mulut aku

Ingat tak my last entry about him and the girl? it really come truth. benda kantoi kot. he still looking at the girl. he said he did sound that girl for not disturbing him anymore. but they were not. still contact like before. my heart is hurt. my world is bleak. why are you doing this to me? im so frustrated because of you did this.

its time for me to let you go. this is your third you doing this to me. you know how much i love you? i dont know what should i do now. i give you do in whatever you want eventhough it hurt myself, but this is what i get. how many times i want to tell you, just let me know if you have someone else. kau bole cakap ape? aku dah tak call kau tiap2 malam skang sbb tu kau rasa sunyi. thats the reason why you looking for her? this whole week, im with you till 6am. im in front of you. you rather find that girl tu fulfilled you loneliness? kau berubah because of this kan. like i told you before kan? tapi nape tak mengaku? i hate this things happened

sorry for what i've done toward you. sorry for everything but enough for now. im totally down and thanks for giving me the precious life with you. i might not be a good person, i have no look but deep of my heart im trying of myself to love you but this is the end up

whatever happens is a process of learning

beralih arah

masa makin lama makin banyak berlalu hidup bersama, tapi makin lama makin tak serasi untuk hidup gembira. aku dah tak merasa hidup berkongsi sebagai partner hidup. ketara kot semua tu. aku sendiri rasa, tapi ape je yang bole aku buat. nak bersuara pun tak berguna, nak rasa dipujuk pun, tak merasa. makin lama makin terasa aku ni macam menyusahkan. aku diperlukan masa perlu saje. padahal dalam hati aku nak berkongsi. semua ni berubah kerana pompuan tu ke?

tak mustahil bila nanti aku dapat tau kau punya hati dengan dia. hati sakit dari awal lagi, tapi keputusan kau berkomunikasi dengan dia buat aku terus tahan daripada sakit. kau yang aku ada je sekarang. tak terlintas untuk mencari yang lain sebab aku pegang janji aku dulu lepas kesalahan paling besar aku buat dekat kau. kalau kau happy hidup camni, aku terima. nak ikutkan hati, aku lepaskan kau, tapi berat, aku sayang.

tiap hari aku perlukan. aku cemburu buta kerana sayang pula. maybe depan kau aku berlagak happy, tapi dalam hati siapa je yang tau? kalau sudah terasa bosan atau tidak diperlukan lagi, bagitau. aku rela terima jujur dari mulut kau daripada kau tipu aku hidup2.

Hati jiwang karat yo.

The Production

This is most struggle week i have for this sem. baru first week of final project ni. dah nak final n macam2 hal la jadi. for today i just stress with video production class and fine art class. Benda jadi tercabar when encik kamal said my group is most slow than other group. im not really blame on him. sometimes its true, i admit because of we working very slow plus with my group member yang stress jugak. i know what they feel so do i. i really want to prove that what encik kamal said was wrong.

we did really hard during make this short film, but bila adaa je sumber yang menjatuhkkan semangat, rasa cam dah putus asa je. tapi nak or tak kena jugak buat because cam director satu jawatan yang tinggi dan orang cam mengharap my crew do all out.

first day was okay. everythings done smoothly. but last minute props ade yang tertinggal, lupa bawak itu bawak ini. me and my crew try so hard utk cover sebanyak mana scene yang mungkin so that the second day tade la terkejar2. that was my plan. we started at 9pm and finish at 6.30am. lama kan? kami stay sampai mata rabak habis. dengan rasa nak terkencing la, dengan cerita lari dari storyboard la. but we cover up back the scene. first day we concentrate more on scene male character which is syaffiq kena jadi pelakon. he did well so far. mendengar kata and kesian jgk la tengok dia sebab scene dia banyak rokok, rokok dia habis because of the scene. nanti kami ganti balik oke syaffiq.

second day is more struggle. we have to cover up 3 character in one night. first dugaan, berlaku sedikit kekeliruan time scene 1 kami buat. time ni storyboard dah lari abis dah. by the time 80% give habis. dengan tak cukup tido lagi. oh bytheway we started at 2pm at amin's house. we did indian male character punya scene. we did till 6.30pm. but my crew came at the location by 9.30pm. so we start with the scene malay male chaaracter playing cards. then we go to the next location which is all my actor and atress there. first we cover syaffiq scene because he do have class tomorrow morning. right after that, scene indian girl with chinese male. oh bytheway i wanna thank myra jamaludin because of last minute search chinese character. nak diikutkan dah ada pelakon cina lelaki, tapi dia bole buat hal pulak. skali myra bawak pure chinese laaaa, Ben.

second day we finish at 7am. im totally exhausted but i really enjoyed while im tired and stress. this is the most best ever part in my life. dah terasa cam ada production sendiri. HAHA. To amin, alim, myra, caped, pecol and afan, i know we been struggle nowadaysm but whatever it is, we still have to do the best for editing and make yourself proud in what we done. Brings our production to the top and im sure we can do the best for our finals. GOOD WORK TEAM!

Orang kuat production. this is amin, my producer. nice work team with him. i really enjoy.

discussion before shooting.

reherseal

see my name on the board? HAHA. imma director. weird is it? so do i :D

my cameraman for sure. orang kuat jugak ni.

ready for take

this is my script writer and assistant direction. she's the one gonna said SCENE 1 SHOT 1 TAKE 1! tu dia punya keja la tu.

my boom mic boy. insan yang paling bertenaga skali. orang penat bershooting, dia bole bantai buat his fav head banging dia. tak habis2. hahaha

best memory ever with them.

done by,

fiqa.

kau dah bole pegi mati dengan sha kau

batak sangat kan? nak dia sangat en? kau nak dengan pukimak tu en? go ahead, dipersilakan. aku dah bagi muka kat kau, kau still nak message dengan dia, depan aku kau bole pegang2 dia. pukimak tu pun satu hal, bodo ke ape? ke memang dah tade orang lain? dua dua dah boleh2 pegi mati. aku dah cakap dengan kau, kalau kau nak dia sangat, pegi kat dia. tinggalkan aku. lama2 menyirap pula aku dengan kau. cakap tak serupa bikin. dah boleh2 move your ass dengan sha kau tu. sial! aku dah bagi muka kat kau, ini kau kasi kat aku. sedih weh tengok perangai kau camni. cakap sayang, buto sayang! cakap lebih bole la. batak la kau dengan betina tu.

salah ke aku nak rasa bahagia walaupun sekejap? tolong la jangan bagi aku sengsara dengan sifat player kau. sudah2 la ape yang orang yang sebelum ni dah buat kat aku. kalau kau bosan, kau dah muak dengan aku tolong la tinggalkan aku, kau hidup dengan pompuan yang kau suka tu, aku rela hidup sorang dari dipermainkan kau. aku tade ape dalam diri. aku cuma mahu kebahagiaan walaupun sikit. tolong la jangan buat aku camni. i can handle my tears anymore. tak salah kalau kau nak berkawan, tapi cara kau tu cam flirting dengan orang. kalau kau suka hidup dengan flirting kau, jgn la hidup dengan aku, sebab aku bukan jenis camtu tolong tinggalkan aku kalau kau sukakan dia. itu aje :(

good game liverpool

i am so dissapointed of liverpool actually. they lose the game with manchaster united. i can heard from man u fans, they were boooo-ing at me. there's nothing to embarresed with. well man u won because of they got the penalty. actually they dont deserves to. hahaha. benda dah lepas la fiqa. buat ape nak ungkit. HAHAHA. well liverpool, you're always be my number one team best ever okay. youguys did well, but i am really dissapointed again! haha

oh forget to introduce, my geng, My father, meea, deend, Afiq, Afadz, Ainul, and i dont-know-who is liverpool fans else, youguys pick the right team. hahaha. but the obviosly is deend and afadz la en. message i sampai cam i need liverpool win this game. hahaha. chill oke. liverpool still the best.

to amad, fuck off la kau nak membangga team man u kau tu. haha. message kau tak menyakitkan hati langsung la en. well jaga baik kau, benda ni akan repeat jugak. tgk la. hahaha. to my sister as well, poyo la hang punya status sampai bawak gaduh dengan sorang mamat ni. panggil aku loser terus. memang aku main dlm team liverpool en. nak gak aku tengok orang tua tu main bola. asal boleh, bawak perut je masuk dalam padang.

well people, adat game la kan, ada menang ade kalah. i dont really think that liverpool is a loser forever. masing2 punya minat masing2. i dont really dont like people who talk shit about the team they hate most. dont disrespect other football fans, its not like we're playing, cun?

siblings day out

actually i didnt plan to buy the new lappy bag. but after i saw sayang hold the bag yesterday at times square, i cam like, sayanggg, sumpah bag tu cantik. so i cam adore gila kat bag lappy tu. i and azim see that bag almost 10 minutes, after sayang put the bag back. so today, memang bag tu bakar line kan laa, i ask papa to give me 100 bucks, and i bought it, finallyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy :) sayanggg! that bag is mine now. haha. tadi pun that tauke said, itu last kopek. so im glad. haha

this is sister and brother. after penat shopping kan. see my adik pegang payung? cute kan kan. hahaha

me and adik. teringat zaman myspace amik gambar kat cermin kan. HAHAHA

again the siblings. love adik so much

by the time, i got text from fiq, my ex. he was there but unfortunely im not be able to meet him up because we are so rushing that time. so fiq, maybe next time we meet up okay. but i really enjoy this, again! i have new lappy bag. i dont know why i like it so much. HAHAHA

Liverpool fanatic fans baby :)

today's game. Liverpool VS. Manchaster United. who's gonna win this game tonight? that will be absolutelyyyy Liverpool okay :D i am so much love liverpool you know. so i post at facebook, Forever Liverpool. but most of them, not agree with my statement. haha kesaaaahhhh? bytheway, sayang is on man utd, so hell yeah baby your team will going down okay. liverpool will beat your team. hahahaha. so i cant wait for tonight game.

view full page for the pictures and you will see those comments. hahaha. but anywayss, thanks alot for the conversation peoples :D

again webbie.

after im off to kuala lumpur, teman sayang, botak, azim, and acap pegi beli barang kat bb. so cam klua berjalan2 jugak la dengan sayang. i have so much fun last night till 8pm. right after that, i met my family especially kakak yang lama merinduiku. HAHA. so i was online. tetiba semalam was like, webbie dengan cik abg deend darin yang lama menghilang and now i know that he continue his study. before this he was extended. so helaluyaaaaahhh deend, welcome back to your university. padahal dia nak habis sem dah pun. haha

so last night we cant sleep, so bercerita la serba sedikit tentang masalah, tentang cerita lamaaa, semalam we were crazy kan deend? HAHA. he knew about me and sayang, padahal weyhh, kau dah lama tak contact dengan aku. stalker ke ape? hahaha. so hell yeah, thanks for the support, pls pray hard for me and sayang okay.

see, look at his face. his cant sleep face. HAHAHA. by the time, ajak webbie cam bagi seribu satu alasan en. then lelama tu dia plak yang cam beriya nak webbie. suh dia senyum, memang susah l en. dia just cakap " you amik la gmbr camne pun. tanak senyum" HAHAHA. demand habis la en you ni deend.
he asked me last night, "you rabun ke fiqa?" hahaha. bongok la deend ni. dia ni melawakkan je. let me tell youguys okay. he's deend darin. i know him last 1 year plus kot tak silap. he asked me again, "since bila kita kenal eh?" HAHA. pelik2 je dia ni. dia ni pernah being my close close friend dulu. we been close since he stayed at terengganu till he stay at kl back. right after that, im not so close with him for some reason and by the time, my phone number is already changed. so yeah he knew again that im changing my phone number. HAHAHA. i had so much fun with the conversation. thanks deend.

webbie with bakish

if youguys noticed about last post, i told youguys about webbie with bakish. and i dont have any pictures with her. but finally i got the pictures from her blog. hahaha. glad okayy :). im trying so hard to find the pictures. now baru dapatt. haha so here goes.

okay lets start over again, this is bakish my precious pretty girl i have. look her hair. i told youguys her hair so fucking beautiful isnt it? haha so envy okayy bakishh! haha. yeay baby we knew since 2007. 3 years dah kot. you tak rasa lamaaa ke? haha. sebelum ni, before i further my study at unisel, i selalu la lepak dengan dia. masa tu rambut dia pendek, cute and paling pentingg! dia budak skola lagi by the time. now what i know is, she's taking english lessons at british council nearby KLCC. goodluck yeah sayang.

we had much memory. happy, sad, frustrated and so so on. haha. im not telling that story, its actually old story. but here, again! we still contact for each other. and bakish! you gotta be someone with me before you go to mmu okay. thats be a must! no excuse. hahaha. iloveyougenduttt :)

another event :)

woke up at 1pm. Terus online, played tiki resort. chatting with random people. so i was like layan jela sebab dah lapar kan sebenarnya. sayang still sleeping. suddenly,

kamal: fiqa, bak email cepat.

fiqa: fiqarock@yahoo.com. nak buat ape kamal?

kamal: register recharge.

fiqa: recharge? kat mana? bila? sape spin?*happy mode*

kamal: kl live centre, 17/4 ni.

fiqa: sape spin?

kamal: dj dave! HAHAHA

fiqa: fuck you. hahaha.

kamal: amik website ni pegi register cepat.

fiqa: baik laaaaa.

so i was view the website that have be given by kamal. dengar lagu dia dah terasa bakar line! hahaha. memang best la this coming april. banyak event kot :) padahal april la aku dah final en. HAHAHA. but anyway peoplee! recharge partyyyy babyyy.

here's thing. first of all, menurut abang kamal tersayang cakap, we register this recharge is for get free tickets, give more informations, update about recharge and so on. so dia pun tolong la registerkan untuk mendapat ticket free. hahaha. hellllaaaaluuyaaahhh :)

i give youguys some info's. this coming recharge party will come this SeventeenAprilTwoThousandTen, venue, Kl live Centre and Spin by, The Trillseekers && Christopher Lawrence.About the ticket prize im really not sure but i'll tell the info about the ticket okay :) so people, move your ass to the partyyy okay :D

housemates

today was bored. facebook-ing, ym-ing, text-ing, pictures from webcam. until i forced my housemates to vain with me. i have nothing better to do. bored bored bored. hahahaha. i supposly off to k.L because usually every friday i stay up mama's place, but for some due reasons, i have to stay. fucked up en :( i miss mama and sister as well.

shoot and my new housemate and also shoot's girlfriend, shasha bubu. btw she have the same name with me. syafiqah yo! haha. but most people call her, shaa@ika. haha.

hihi.

this is one and only sawa i have. haha. she's not wearing tudung for the first time in picture, ALERT! haha. she's alim oke. pakai tudung sume. but she cant accept me for who i am now and forever, i love her. haha

i love her smile oke.

lalala, ini wajib!

webbie with random

its friday today :) i have no class, woke up at 1pm. i aint do nothing now. boring pun ade. after i woke up, mandi suma then online. sayang was online by the time. then i asked him to come over my place and bought me a lunch. hahaha. thanks again sayang :) but menyirap gak la sebab dia boleh bantai tido pulak en. so tadehal aku lapar time tu. hahaha. right after that, lepak lepak lepak till 5.

then after he went back, again online and play tiki resort. right after that, online ym with random people, bakish && sayang && dylla. here goes.

sayang was here. hihi. ni pun dia kena paksa amik gambar. sampai dia sanggup amik his cap and pakai lagi en. so i was like, asal la dia ni comel sangat. hahaha. i told him that i miss him already right after he went back from my place. so sayang, malam ni kita dating lagi yeah. hahahaha

this is my bestfriend, close friend, life partner suma la dia. she's the one who i love the most from seven years old. we been together as a bestfriend till now. honestly, we are not close like before because we both are totally busy with study. she's studying at unitar kelana jayaa. pretty is it? haha. but hey, she's taken by wan :)

paling sedihhhhh is i ade amik gambar with bakish but gmbr tu tereplace dengan gmbr sayang tadi. outomatically that pic have deleted. i envy with bakish's hair. sangat panjang okay. lama dah tak jumpa dia and i was like veryy shocked when i saw her hair. makin lawaaaa pula. and she told me im getting skinny. yes bakish. ramai dah cakap camtuh. hahahaha. but i would love to meet you before you off to mmu okay sayangggg. love youguys so muchh :)

Lunch For Today

i went to the class. kurung attire, lappy, my bag, and other stuff are make me so exhaused. im sleepy indeed. i have no cash. ZERO okay. so i've plan after class, straight aim to my rent house because i have nothing to do. but the plan changed.

i met him, last minute meet. shocked, nervous, hungry hungry hungry. that what im thinking. but again, I MEET HIM. takut nak pandang muka dia for sure, but im totally dont know what happened to myself, im just feel blank. so, tanak panjangkan cerita lagi i speak it out. blablablabla. and fyi people, im not going speedzone i think for some reasons. im not telling this, but i think im gonna miss this coming event. so hell yeah peopl out there for attend that event, wishing you have fun up there :D

moving on, part best ni. i've told you that i have no cash. i cant withdraw my money, i dont know whatthefuck the atm machine just now. so he treat me a lunch. but he said, "tapau la, tanak lepak kat mamak, serabut je kat sana" baikkk laaaa. so i tapau the nasi hakim. actually nasi campur but most of the student panggil nasi hakim kat shah alam ni. ayam dia sedap okay :) then we move to tasik in front of the unisel which beside of my rent house. sampai sana dah pelik dah apahal mamat ni tiba2 nak lepak sini en. tanya jugak ape nak buat kat sini and he directly said, "angin kat sini best. saje nak amik angin sini" pelik lagi ni.

so after arrived there, i makan kat one of the pondok la kat situ. dengan orang potong rumput, dengan gagak banyak berkeliaran, i was like, makan jelaaa. orang dah blanja kan. thanks btw. the best part is, after all, i suapkan makanan dekat dia. mmg weirdo and i dont care what you gonna say about me and stuff, but heck! i really2 feel that was the sweetest thing with him. god knows how much i love him. roarr.

tade motif kan bercerita? kadaweleeee. tape, as long as im happy, so i dont care la kan.

HAPPY MODE

dreamweaver yo!

im sure know there must be certain people doesnt know about whatthehell dreamweaver is, right? lemme explain you a little bit. honestly, i didnt know much about this but im surely for people out there who love make their own website love to use this. here's thing.

this is the example for the use of the dreamweaver which is, make your own website for your own. This probably can make some money for yourself to make your own website. for the example, you can make your own gallery for your portfoilios so that everyone can see your website and your portfolios as well.

this is dreamweaver looks like. ini baru blank. belum ade coding dia lagi, kalau tgk code, masyallag memang tak pahem la aku en. but if you learn about this, you'll interest with that. this is fun you know. haha.

About this dreamweaver asalnya dari this semester subject, which is interactive media publishing and the lecturer is Encik Muzamir Othman. he's quite interesting person, and i love his english okay :D haha. sadly i dont have any picture of him. so im so sorry people. hihi.

this is me, after i've done encik muzamir gave my class the final assignment for this week. start from nextweek, he will give us the final project. so im not sure wheather i can do the final or not. so guys, wish me luck :)

this is acip@boolat, my classmate. quite close with me. very concern person as well.

syaza and acip

again and again.

most fav pose i love to do

i remember this time. "ja ja, buat mata juling" HAHA

pretty is she?

last but not least, again! notice that im wearing kurung kan kan? haha. later peeps *love*

Nothing Last Forever

im sorry for what i have done to you. i know how much you hate me now, a million sorry from me to you. miserable life i have right now. you're the one who i love the most. losing you is the worst part of my life. whatever happens after this, i cant stop loving u no matter what happens.

I miss your smile, FAISOL MUSTAFA.

there are just not enough rooms for me and your ego.

my rooms is not enough for me and your ego, dont you realize that? this is what happened after all we are together. for a couple of month my live with you, this is the end up? just this? your ego live for yourself and you said you Wont turns back to me just because of your ego? sayang huh?

you was my second in my life that i love most. i thought you will make me happy, make me smile because i have set to myself, my live is for you, my time life ticking just for spending the time with you, everything i did all of sudden, just because of you. i left my old life, because i wanted to make you happy, just to make you feel comfortable with me, always. i apprieciate every single thing you did to me. your tempered, your tears, your smile, your hugs, i miss that alot.

egoist. yes its true. im stuck in your ego. that's why im not yelling at you, i even not say the bad things about you even you always do so, but dont you think you hurt me. please for once, think about our relationship. i love you so much, you're the one im willing to live and breathe, you said you always beside me through thick and thin. please for once, think back carefully.

i might be not the one you love most, but loving you is my best damn skills i have. your ego live for yourelf. it might be not change anything.

redha~

could i, again?

could i pretend to be happy or what?

could i live without him or what?

could i leave him or what?

could i stop loving him or what?

could i letting him go or what?

everything happened for a reason. i might be did some thing that he didnt like, but we are maybe not meant to be together. time move so fast. i just not sastified the moment with him. i need some more time to make enjoyable moment with him. supposly be happy, but we end up like not we have plan before. i do care every single thing about him. this is my most fav picture im with him :)

thanks for everything,

forgive all ive done towards you.

takecare :)

asyik pasal cinta je

jemu kan. boring, luak semua la. haha. please i need some new environment. *breathe breathe

Setia katanyaaaaa

haha, geli mak nyahh. kira okay la aku maafkan dia sbb dia bodo pi cari ex dia balik en. patu tak mengaku, itupun aku sanggup lagi nak sayang dia. tak pernah hargai juga. dia paling hebat, dia la 100% setia, dia la sempurna, dia la baik bagai malaikat. dia seorang insan tak pernah buat silap.

baik, aku ikut rentak kau. nak madah tak guna kerana tiada penyesalan tinggalkan kau walaupun berat, walaupun sayang. cara kau silap, tapi dikata betul. baiklaaa, saya ikut. you deserves better, you can find someone better than me. if aku ada segala kejahatan, beredar la. jangan kusutkan diri pikirkan dengan orang bermasalah ni. baiklaaaa :)

zon laju, zon laju kami datangggg~

tadaaaa. zon laju zon laju, kami datangggg~ HAHA. okay for this motogp 2010 event, again, i might be attend this event. And for sure with my Sister, Mira & kamal. And maybe with some other friends. hihi. so exciting to come there, at genting. after all of sudden ive been struggle with tons of assignments, so i think its time for me to chill up my mind. HAHA.

ticket

sister, and kamal :)

okay, belagak habis!

precious of mine, kamal and mira

discussion, Minah rempit juga

This discussion really last minute plan. Alim and myra came. we settle down the Offis Kotak Production storyboard. we have to submit tomorrow morning. and by the time, i felt so like exhausted. but for the team sake, i have to did all this. and after the discussion this is what we did.

Alim, Fiqa && Myra

rempit yo!

me and alim getting crazy

again, alim

Last but not least, the end~